The idea of living in the moment or taking one day at a time has become my mantra lately. I can’t figure out if it’s because I’m a mom and I know that every day my children are getting a little bit older, or if it’s because I’m getting a little bit older everyday. Life sometimes feels like I’m circling around in a tornado and there’s no way out, but not in a way that I feel trapped by my life, but more-so trapped by time and it’s non-stop aggressive need to continue without my consent. There never seems to be a moment where we can stop, slow down, and really look at each other, see what we’re doing and feeling and then react accordingly. I want to be present every day, in every moment and enjoy them, but I feel the nagging tug in my brain that I can’t waste time and I need to accomplish as much as possible with the time that I have. What’s the answer for slowing down? Is it taking a family vacation or just simply recognizing that there is a need to be conscious of every day life moments and have the self-awareness to stop and be present for them? I look back at the last 5 years of my life and I know that we’ve accomplished so much as a family and also individually, but I’m not able to create clear images in my head. It looks like when you flip through a picture book as fast as you can and see blurry images, but not the clear pictures explaining what the story is really about. I feel guilty even spending time typing this out, when I should be doing 500 other things, but then I also want to be able to balance my own needs. Is this normal mom guilt or what? I also don’t want to make it seem like I’m sad about life in any way. I freaking love life. I am incredibly in love with what I have right now and the loving, beautiful relationships that I’ve developed with so many people. I’ve always had a weird feeling that the creation of time and the boundaries we’ve created for ourselves are too restricting and hold us back from living a full life. I’m working on appreciating everything that happens. The good, bad, sad, ugly and beautiful and I think that’s a start.